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George Patton: A Study in Leadership

Here is a blog post about George Patton in a general sense:

“No leader should put troops into the field merely to gratify his own spleen; no leader should fight a battle simply out of pique. But a kingdom that has once been destroyed can never come again come into being nor can the dead be brought back to life.” Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I first became aware of George Patton when I was around nine years old. I read about him in my 1985 World Book Encyclopedia set. It was a rather brief article that touched on a few things. Like Tesla (whose own article was not quite 1,000 words), if all a person had to go on was this one entry, we would only get a gist of the person, not their entire life story. I have seen the movie Patton several times once in mid 1990’s and on and off mostly on AMC/TCM over the years. Overall, it is fairly accurate overall portrayal. My main points of contention are the impression that people may have that he was a bombastic, glory-seeking, reckless type whose rash decisions cost unnecessary lives. They point to his slapping of a soldier as “proof” of this. The fact of the matter is that he in a tactical situation never made any major errors that resulted in a delay or loss in a battlefield situation. He understood their hierarchy and how it inter-relates to their overall command structure with total loyalty to the Furher. He understood that ultimately in order to get the Germans to quit was to cut off the head (Hitler) from the body. As long as he was around, they will keep at it. Interestingly enough, about a week after he was dead, most of the Germans laid down their arms. Had Patton’s unique military acumen been used wisely, instead of being wasted by mediocre men of lesser ability-men harboring political aspirations-the war would have ended much sooner that it did with a great savings in lives and materials.

In WWII, alone, many examples exist of Patton’s shrewdness, his “sixth sense” of combat situations. Before war and during the war he displayed a great deal of farsightedness. Had his advice been heeded, major errors could have been avoided in the ETO.Several examples come to mind: During the Third Army initial operations in August, 1944, they advanced around 400 miles in a month and liberated Paris on August 26. At this rate, they could have been in Berlin by October/November. However in order to allocate equipment/supplies for Operation Market Garden, the 140,000 gallons per week was cut to about half that. With only about half of the original fuel supplies combined with developing supply problems overall, to advance a certain number of trucks and tanks without total unit support would cause the forward units to be isolated and overrun by numerically superior German forces.

During 1945, after crossing the Rhine, Allied force deployments were tainted by misplaced priorities, a lack of firm direction from supreme political echelons, and to some extent, by exaggerated fears of German capabilities. When American troops reached the Elbe River in mid-April, Eisenhower unilaterally decided that Berlin was no longer a significant military objective. The official US Army history has defended this decision by stating that Eisenhower knew that Berlin would be within the Soviet zone of post-war Germany and saw no reason to fight for land that would have to be given to the Soviets after the war. Other histories of the campaign have been less generous, assessing that it was a political decision which sacrificed certain military advantages. Eisenhower pointed out to George S. Patton that Berlin was of no military strategic value and would take up a lot of resources to occupy and asked Patton “Who would want it?” Patton replied “I think history will answer that question for you.”

Another example on a tactical level was when he was conducting planning for an operation to cross a creek around September. Paraphrasing the article which was adapted from his diaries and published in Saturday Evening Post in 1947: “I went over to the command headquarters and saw that several members of the planning staff were sitting around the table looking at a map. I asked them what they were doing. We are waiting for the Corp of Engineers to get here so we can work out plans to build a bridge across the river. It shows here we would not be able to get across. I then asked, “Did you actually go down to the river to find out what was going on? I was just down at the river the other day and it wasn’t more than three feet deep.” They looked at each with a dumbfounded look and realized they had made an error in tactical judgment. Often times at the staff level, those in position of leadership can be making big picture decisions without having a clear view of the overall situation. It is easy to look at maps, profit statement and earning statements, sign off on orders, etc… Good effective leaders need to also be grounded in real-life so they can grasp the overall picture before making those big picture decisions.Another example of good leadership is thinking ahead.

During the Battle of the Bulge, he attended a staff meeting with Eisenhower, Bradley and other senior level commanders. The gist of the meeting was to redirect portions of the 3rd Army northwards towards Bastogne. Now the portrayal from the movie has it as if Patton is coming to their rescue. The 101st Airborne Division along with a number of other supporting units were holding its own fairly well and started to recover after airdrops were made.

At the meeting, Eisenhower had asked Patton when he could have three divisions ready to move northward to conduct relief operations. Patton had mentioned several times that they were already on notice once the word was given. The staff had worked out the logistics of moving the divisions north and all was needed now was the go-ahead order from Patton. Still in a state of disbelief that he could have three entire divisions ready when it would take about a week to organize and get the word out, he left the meeting momentarily. He located a field telephone and gave the codeword. Eisenhower and the others could not grasp the idea that he had already anticipated this and planned for it. You can read more about it at this link

There’s a funny story about the capture of Trier that shows the differences between Patton, Eisenhower, Bradley and their ability to judge a military situation. After the battle was already won and the Third Army had taken the city, General Patton received a message from General Bradley. The message said, “Bypass Trier. It would take too many divisions to capture it.” Patton’s humorous reply to Bradley was, “Have already taken city, do you want me to give it back?”

Eisenhower’s attitude towards Patton can be attributed to this: Professional Animosity.

Patton’s style of leadership and personality didn’t sit well with the button-down boardroom style of Eisenhower. When Patton and the 3rd Army was getting great results even without explicit orders from central command, it would create the impression in official reports and in the general opinion of the public that this success was due to Patton instead of Eisenhower and the Board so to speak.

Another interesting example of his leadership was gleaned by looking over the casualty reports for the 3rd Army. The enemy lost an estimated 1,280,688 captured, 144,500 killed, and 386,200 wounded, adding up to 1,811,388. By comparison, the Third Army suffered 16,596 killed, 96,241 wounded, and 26,809 missing in action for a total of 139,646 casualties. Third Army’s losses were only 12.97 percent of the German losses. That is only about 13 American soldiers for every 100 German soldiers.Approximately 60 percent of the Germans surrendered. Even as early as August/September, German commanders were discreetly contacting Patton with offers to surrender realizing the futility of continuing to fight on behalf of that Bohemian corporal. This is a testament to Patton’s thinking on how to win. He recognized that especially in war, relating to Sun Tzu’s Art of War never corner an injured animal. During his report on the Bonus Army marches, he illustrates that when conducting crowd control drills, never try to corner the crowd. Always leave an opening so they can get out and not be possibly crushed. If the crowd fears it will be certainly killed or injured without a better option (withdraw or surrender), it will actually fight back more intensely and this could result in greater number of people on your own side being killed or injured. Pointing out again how Patton’s leadership style differed from what often happens especially in boardroom style leadership combined with big PR that especially happens in business, military, sports, etc…

“During the course of this war I have received promotions and decorations far above and beyond my individual merit. You won them; I as your representative wear them. The one honor which is mine and mine alone is that of having commanded such an incomparable group of Americans, the record of whose fortitude, audacity, and valor will endure as long as history lasts.”

General Tips For Living In The World of Mad Max

(I originally posted this on Geocities site on July 4, 2001)

‘Men fight for liberty and win it with hard knocks. Their children, brought up easy, let it slip away again, poor fools. And their grandchildren are once more slaves.” D.H. Lawrence

The problem with revolutions, historically, has always been that the Revolutionaries themselves gradually morph into the new power structure that must again be removed by revolution. It is inevitable that the Ring of Power will ultimately, and inevitably, corrupt its wielder, no matter how iron willed or noble he or she may be. So what is a person to do?

1. Start producing your own food. Currently we eat food extracted via “agricultural strip mining” that is over processed and shipped thousands of miles to our table. Every time we eat at McDonald’s or buy groceries at Kroger, we are supporting the monster that is strangling us. Do business at community gardens, food co-operatives, community supported agriculture, and farmer’s markets. Leave nutrition, and money, right where it belongs, LOCALLY! Besides who’s to say that the higher-ups at Kroger or Wal-Mart may decide we don’t wish to be in the grocery business anymore. What will you do when you can’t shop for it?

2. Start small businesses and manufacture basic needs at home. Stop buying useless plastic crap that you saw on TV, turn off the TV! Or shoot it! Own the means of production, however modest. A good set of tools or books are worth far more than any SUV or swimming pool. Materialism is what is suffocating us. While there may be nothing wrong with having a car in and of itself or a bunch of different gadgets, simplicity is really a better way to go. Plus, you will have more time to pursue other matters that are otherwise being used to pay off your bills.

3. Own your own home. Get the Landlord’s hand out of your pocket, and assure yourself of shelter. Look for ways to make them energy efficient.

4. Get out of debt. Buy no mortgages; send your credit card back to the credit card company (in pieces). Make life decisions based on your actual worth as opposed to being driven by debt. Of course what bills you do have, pay them on time.

5. Consider alternative forms of information. Cancel your magazine and newspaper subscriptions. Develop alternative sources of information. Broadcast pirate radio, operate your own newspapers, and search for alternative news on the web.

6. Get involved in local politics. Make it clear to local politicians that following the statist or corporate agendas will result in noisy and effective locally based opposition to re-election. It is the School Board that signs the contract to feed corporate glop to our children, it is the County Sheriff who enlarges his domain with Drug War confiscations, and it is the County Executive who labors day and night to give away our lands and forests for golf courses and industrial parks. Getting involved in local politics is almost a necessity. On the other hand, don’t live off the system.

7. Actively reduce tax bite. Buy your needs from small biz and local manufacturers. Buy from flea markets and yard sales. Barter heavily. Avoid heavily taxed industries and products. Don’t be a mindless “Consumer”.

8. Own a gun. Practice with it and see that your family and children are familiar with its use and care. If enough of us own one then there will probably never be a need to use it in anger.

9. Stop going to the hospital. I guess it might be one thing to go if you are dying of a heart attack. Of course, if you are going to die, then you are going to die. But going because you cut your finger or because you have a headache I’m sure would at least in part contribute to these rising healthcare costs. Just walk it off or create your own medical supplies.

10. If you have to, set up a budget. Don’t look at the budget when shopping, but note the amounts you spend in the category of clothes, food, subcategory sweets, misc, etc… You would be amazed on where the money is being spent. Further, you might consider breaking them into groupings such as credit, cash, checks, liberty dollars, etc… Ask your employer about alternatives forms of payments. Ask your bank for redemption in lawful money (i.e. silver and gold coin), but don’t count on it.

Briefly this is a plan for seizing the means of production and taking back control of our lives. You might choose to do one, a few or all of these things and more. It won’t be easy. Old habits die hard. When it appears that the plan may actually be succeeding, rest assured you will get your chance to die for the cause. But we owe it to our children to see that it does succeed.

The key is to do it eventually and it will be done in phases. You might do one of these things, some of them or all of them and more. Learn about architecture. Learn about agriculture. Learn other ways to do things in order to be self-sufficient. Take a bus or learn to ride a bicycle/horse. It takes some time to phase out elements of your current lifestyle and work in the new.

Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice.

My Personal Experience With The Libertarian Party

I first became involved with the Libertarian Party in 2000. I had been a registered Republican since 1994 when I turned 18. Politically, I have always been in favor of smaller government, less spending and lower taxes. However I felt the GOP by the late 1990’s was not reducing the size of the government as much as I wanted it to. Keep in mind that this was during a time when there were several years of budget surpluses that caused the national debt to drop from 5.5 trillion to 5.2 trillion. Of course, after 2001, it went topsy-turvy no matter which party was in charge.

So after voting for Harry Browne in 2000, I sought to become involved at the local and state level. All in all, it was positive. Some of the libertarians I had interactions with were productive and fruitful. I even arranged for Michael Badnarik to visit Knoxville in 2004.

I was chairman of the Knox County organization from 2002-2004. Overall, it was a rewarding experience in terms of gaining experience in running an organization. It involved everything from organizing chapter meetings, inviting members to attend, arranging for guest speakers. Petitioning for repeal of the wheel tax. I met everyone from Bernard von Nothaus (founder of the Liberty Dollar), Richard Mack, Ron Paul, Jill Stein, Jo Jorgenson among others.

The major pitfall was when it came to organizing canvassing events, party building exercises and other general activities that are conducive to building a political party, it can be a good bit like herding cats. I could invite 50 people to a meeting and maybe 5 people show up. I single handedly had to do all the work in Knox County on behalf of Michael Badnarik. Ultimately, most of the members either didn’t really believe in libertarianism, were willing to do what it takes to build an organization or just simply lazy.

I was burned out after the 2004 election cycle and resigned from the Libertarian Party. I stayed in bed for about a month and recuperated. While I am still a Libertarian in principle, I am much more cautious about how I go about applying myself. Over the years, I have been notified by a number of women in particular and some men that one of the major problems with the LP is that a core group of the members act like something out of Animal House. Multiple women have reported being sexually harrassed or verbally assaulted. Others may complain that too many libertarians don’t take the proper steps towards building a respectability that would help build its image. For example, it wouldn’t hurt to comb your hair, brush your teeth and wear a suit and tie every once in a while.

I had witnessed a spat on a woman’s Facebook account where one of the LP members was getting really heavy handed with the woman. His beef was with Trump being a “wasted” vote and ballot access laws in Tennessee. It was getting so out of control that even the woman’s husband had to chime in to get him to tone it down. Another person mentioned that while he agrees with the LP on much of its platform, the lack of grace and humilty and overly aggressive tone keeps him from not bothering joining the LP. I pointed out in a general sense that while I agree that ballot access laws and campaign finance reform are woefully needed, the lack of people building and coalition building skillset was a major hinderance in getting the LP traction it will need to go forward to actually have an impact. When you have been around 50 years and still drawing less than 1%, that low figure can’t solely be attributed to unfair ballot access laws the issue notwithstanding.

Here are two videos by my friend Melyssa regarding her experience with the LP.

Why I Will Not Support the Libertarian for Indiana Governor

Rainwater Refuses To Protect Libertarian Party Delegates From Sexual Harassment

Just today, I had a run-in with several members of the Tennessee Libertarian Party that was outright bullying and apologist for statism. I had posted on the TnLP Facebook page suggesting that perhaps some of them could take the reins in organizing several of the cities like Nashville or Tri Cities for a No Mask Mandate event in conjunction with the Knoxville event that will take place on October 25 in Market Square. Several of the members claimed it was not worth bothering with and that we should obey the mask mandate because it wasn’t worth wasting their time over. I then explained how the mask wearing affected me as a hearing impaired/deaf person. They then ramped up the personal attacks on me and claimed I was lying about it.

Update: The individuals who attacked me on the TnLP group were trolls and not genuine LP members. That aside, my other points in this article stand.

If the LP can’t even get together a few people to go a local event for a few hours, how it can expect to get people elected to office? If the LP can’t even conduct themselves properly in personal interactions, how can it expect to win them over on political issues?

So until the LP (or a sizable portion of its membership) gets its act together, it can’t expect to do any better than 1% of the vote.

Another Building In A Sea of Buildings: Why I Left The Church

For the first 35 years of my life or so, I was either a very active attendee in church or at least semi-weekly. Over the past ten years, I have either been sporadic or didn’t attend church at all. Looking back on it, I am able to determine why I had left. It wasn’t due to any conscious choice to leave. But in a gradual way, The Lord had removed me. Having done so, I was able to get a bird’s eye view of what goes on. This perspective has been profound.

The specific experience that caused me to withdraw from church happened in 2012. I will keep names of people and places confidential. Generally, a woman and her three children between the ages of 1-6 years old were homeless or in a shelter due to financial problems caused by her husband’s untimely death a few months earlier. I was basically driving through the area and noticed them walking along the sidewalk in the downtown area. I stop my car and then proceeded to interact with them. After finding out what the basic situation was, I drove them to one of the churches that I was familiar with having attended it a few times over the years.

After we got out of my car and went to the church office, I explained the circumstances and inquired to see what could be done. To make a long story, they were denied assistance. I was shocked and the mother was shocked as well. So we basically left the church. I am of limited means myself, but I gave them around $20 and tried to offer prayer for them personally and for others to help them. They being heartbroken thanked me for my generosity and walked down the street. I pray that this story had a happy ending.

I have been one who has suppressed my emotions especially anger and fear for decades and my other emotions have been used little. I think subsciously I do this to protect myself from being hurt. Like a soldier. However reflecting back on this experience last night, I could feel the anger welling up in me. I was angry at this particular church for their cold-heartedness and strict adherence to redtape. I thought “How can a church with all its property holdings all of the sudden is so poor that it can’t even spare $10 or $20 for a widow and her three children.”

Clearly, this nation is in a long running Dark Night of the Soul. I have had my own experience with it. My basic concern with churches today is they like in the past are more interested in fitting in with the world and therefore compromised their unique purpose. We are not being the salt and light. The question I struggle with is should I attend a church that is not being the salt and light or continue to stay away until the church gets its priorities straight?

I would appreciate your feedback. Feel free to leave a comment or email me at

Dark Night of the Soul: How Legalism and Modern Culture Combined To Interfere In My Relationship With Women

(click here for original link)

All of us have or will experience challenges in life. These challenges mold and bind us together to create potentially a more well-rounded individual. Change is constantly happening.

Reflecting on my life as a child, I interacted well with girls. We played ball. We mud wrestled. It is all in good play. We trained for a potential invasion by the Soviet Union. I had an overactive imagination back then!

So bottom line the 1980’s was a wonderful time to be alive. I rarely had a bad day. Being that my dad is from East Tennessee moved to Florida in 1969, he met my mom while delivering pizza. So I have spent much of my time in Florida particularly around Clearwater and St. Petersburg. I experienced both the laid-back country life and the more open life. Family reunions, moonshine, hayrides. Fairs. Swimming in the ocean, teenagers and senior citizens enjoying their lives despite difference in age, bikini contests and oil wrestling matches. We lived our lives and didn’t beat each other up over political correctness and moral busybodies.

Fast forward to 2018. I was attending a risque art show and pudding wrestling event at Synergy Tattoo in Knoxville. The pudding wrestling was an add-on to serve as a fundraiser for a domestic violence shelter. Everything went well. I mainly came for the wrestling match. But out of I estimate 75 attendees, about 50 were women, But the art show helped to expand my horizons and throw it back into Jezebel’s face. “You are too good for this!” So the following Saturday, after some pictures and video were posted on one of the participants Facebook accounts, several women who didn’t even attend the show came out of the woodworks and they attacked her. I observed this online attack throughout the day. Eventually, the body shaming became so vicious that she removed the pictures and video to prevent further attacks. No good deed goes unpunished!

As I entered my teenaged years, it was generally fine. There were a few occasions out of curiousity some of the boys and girls would take turns showing themselves off. But for some reason (ha!), the girls wanted to see me more than the other boys. But once again, it was just kids being silly and learning about life as they go through their phase.

Between August, 1988 (7th grade) to August, 1991 (sophomore), I grew from 4’11, 89 pounds to 5’6″, 130 pounds. Then I stopped growing all through the rest of high school despite being able to eat 15,000 calories a day. But I also did 5,000 pushups, 5,000 crunches, ran about 50 miles a week and woke up at 5 every morning. 5 has been showing up repeatedly in my life lately. What does that mean?

I have enjoyed playing sports since I was 5. If I had to pick a few big years in my life, 1979, 1981, 1985 and 1988 come to mind. 1992 and 1998 were my favorite years personally in the 90’s. But both decades were enjoyable.

This country beginning with 9/11 has been going through A Dark Night of the Soul. I personally have had my own experience with this. As it relates to modern times, we are constantly busy. It is difficult to form deep, lasting relationships. 2020 certainly has driven a nail in the coffin. I have struggled with this particular aspect of modern society as well. But even more so, my lack of success in establishing a steady, well paying career, having a stable personal life has wrecked havoc on me. I started in 2011 having these desires for a wife after enjoying being single my whole life. I encountered around 90 straight nights of attacks by the Jezebel Spirit. Looking back on it, I helped to turn me into a more aggressive and assertive person and this will be especially helpful in the future battles to come. The other result of these attacks is that it helped to humanize me a bit whereas much of my life, I acted like The Professor or Spock.

I have for much of my life functioned like a computer. Highly logical, I am able to compute calculations into the trillions without using a calculator or even pen and paper. My ability to run multipication tables or calculate the number of years it would take to travel from one end of the universe to the other (approximately 42 trillion years if a space shuttle was traveling at its normal speed). The universe itself is around 14 billion years old. I rarely write anything down. With my deep love of anything historical, I can recall immense details no matter if it was 2,000 years ago or 200 years ago.

However, this has along with a conservative personality in a conservative culture combined with hearing loss creates severe challenges. I have to lipread to understand a person. Therefore masks and people walking all over the place while talking creates hardship. I have to memorize lyrics and then replay the lyrics when I listen to a song. I have memorized around 2,000 songs. I can recall entire movies from start to finish. I can recall entire books, magazine and newspaper articles even if I hadn’t actually read them in 30-40 years. I can also look at a picture and accurately tell you which decade or century it was in without having any additional information to go on.

I always did well interacting with tomboys and plain looking girls. I do well interacting with people in a small group setting where we discuss business, politics, philosophy, and just about any other topics.

Where I struggled was specifically this: being able to initiate and establish well rounded conversations with beautiful girls particularly cheerleaders and the more glamourous kind of women. It has been said men can lose their minds when they get around beautiful women. I believe it! My mind kept wondering if they would be interested in going out with a hearing impaired boy who wasn’t totally sure what he wanted to do when he grew up. Why date me when you can date the quarterback or the guy who is going to Vanderbilt? I as a teenager and young adult believed based on my limited experience with women in informal social settings (didn’t go to parties and didn’t date in high school or college), that women preferred the tall, handsome men with money and all the things that money could buy. As for me, I never made more than $25,000 in a year.

So in a nutshell, subconsiously I believed that the majority of women were essentially gold diggers. I now realize I was wrong. In retrospect, I wish I had a sister growing up. I am not comfortable talking about personal issues especially sexual matters. I am a man of the past. So I had to turn to my female friends over the years to help sort out this confusion and then expand my own horizons through experience and turning the tables.

My conserative background combined with hearing loss and limited social interactions caused me to develop tunnel vision. I was seeing through a glass darkly. But in fairness, I was also being influenced by the surrounding culture as we all are. It is a culture that constantly criticizes women for what they look like, what they wear, how much money they should make and other issues. A man is never criticized for weighing 300 pounds or more. That is considered a good thing given today’s athletes. A man will never be criticized for the clothes he wears. A woman however will be jumped on if she weighs over 130 pounds or under 100 pounds. She will be criticized for wearing a burka, bikini, lingerie, business suit with a skirt that is above the knee, and every other kind of clothing.

One of my cousins converted to Islam a few years ago. When she was a teenager, she dressed like an average teenager would. Yet at certain times, she would be criticized for showing too much skin. Yet after her conversion, people say she dresses too modestly or is oppressed. Yet when she would take trips to Egypt where her husband is from, they would say she is dressed appropriately. You can’t win!

Not too long ago, I witnessed an interesting contrast occur. A man who definitely worked out was walking around with a mask on in a Kroger. He like millions or perhaps billions of people have bought into fear of a virus if it has killed is blown way out of proportion. On the other hand, I also witnessed a Muslim woman with her child walking around with her face showing. Of course, I thought she was beautiful. But how rare to see that. In my experience being in Gatlinburg, Tennessee around a year ago, they would get many visitors from the Middle East as well as Amish, Europeans, etc… It was interesting seeing this melting pot of people all peacefully co-exisiting in a small town in the mountains of East Tennessee. However the Muslim women always kept their faces covered. They generally according to social customs and religious doctrines say the women cover themselves up to protect them from potential sexual predators and rapists. By not seeing a woman’s face and body, a man will not be tempted to sin and inevitably commit a further crime against the woman like rape. I once told a man who was with his wife that the clothes will not protect her if a man actually did try to murder or rape her. I suggested that she should carry a gun or knife.

So basically modern culture portrays women in negative ways in both western societies and more traditional societies. Men can have a fragile ego and fear stumbling in many ways. But these stumbling blocks can’t be fixed by making laws because laws don’t address the interal shortcomings that are related to the heart and soul.

Thankfully, as I moved from my 30’s to 40’s, and gained more real world experience and expanded my horizons (as opposed to relying on distortions and double standards prevelant in modern media), I have pushed my boundaries further. I no longer have these hangups. I have done several things to push boundaries and get out of my shell. I have done some photography that involves nude and partially clothed models. I used to wear baggy swim trunks. In recent years, I have tried on speedos, thongs and even went nude at Hippie Hollow near Austin, Texas. When I told a few of my Texas friends (and I have around 20-30 mostly as a result of working on Ron Paul’s campaign in 2008), they were shocked. They didn’t imagine a guy like me doing that. But I needed it.

I know of Christians who have had affairs, divorces, having children out of wedlock, bickering, arguing about music and even churches breaking up over politics. But if I do some photography with models or go to a party once or twice a year, it is not Christian-like?

No wonder The Lord withdrew me from the church a number of years ago. He wanted me to have an outsider’s perspective for once and to not be tainted by the squabbles going on inside.

Hyprocrisy abounds in our world. For around 40+ years, it was a maze and trap all in one. Thankfully, I have managed to sort through this maze. As I go forward on my journey, if I had to compile a list of people that I can count on as friends and allies in my struggle against Satan and his minions, the first ten people that I would want on my team are women. No wonder Satan and Jezebel tried to harm my relationship with women. I am no longer burdened by the ways of the world. I am free in Christ!

The Gary Sinise Foundation Soaring Valor trip to National WWII Museum

I have had the pleasure of knowing Bobbie for about ten years. Feel free to check out her blog.

Mischievously Positive

On a personal note…My 91 year old Dad was honored by the GarySiniseFoundation with a trip to New Orleans to visit the WWII Museum. Outstanding recognition of our true heroes! Forever grateful. #WWII #Veterans

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Do Not Take Counsel of Your Fears

Message from a long-time friend: Chris, know that you are not alone in your feelings, I think all of us do that to ourselves, human nature being what it is. We beat ourselves up over what we could’ve or should’ve but didn’t and looking back on the negative tends to drag us down. Saying that, being a child of God, I will say this. 1st Because Christ Himself said in John 3:16 that WHOSOEVER believes and that gives me Hope everyday for my future and the 2nd comes from the words of a song, “Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow,” and that gets me through every day to keep looking forward to the future. Always remember that we are children of a King who has forgiving, loves, and wants the best for us and we need to stop looking back because we are forgiven and move forward working to represent our Father because of his love and sacrifice for us. Keep moving forward.

So it begins. For starters, please read my posts on here particularly the posts about me being injured by MMR vaccine and how hearing loss has affected my life.

I grew up in church. I learned all the Bible stories. I once dealt with a situation when I was seven years old during the summer of 1983. Every Breathe You Take was the big hit on the radio and MTV. I lived my life freely. On Saturday morning, I rush out the back door to the basketball court in my backyard. I saw a snake near the garbage can. I was at that time mostly in fear in of snakes due to reading Adam and Eve plus their physical appearance.

I went back inside and yelled to my dad that there was a snake. He basically took an axe and cut the snake up into several pieces. He then cleaned it up and threw it into the garbage can. It appeared to be a fairly emotionless endeavor. Since that particular Saturday, we had the tendency to use a shovel when removing snakes from now on. Cutting them up of course leaves a bigger mess.

In retrospect, I had allowed my fear of snakes to overcome my better judgment. As a result, another living being loss its life. I have grown to the point now that I abhor all acts of violence be it against man, woman, child or animal. I dislike wanton environmental destruction and the mindless rat race. Basically, I don’t belong in this world.

As a child, I mostly preferred the tomboys since I was an active kid and never had any trouble with them playing ball, riding horses, playing in the mud and everything else that boys did. However as I moved onto my teenaged years, when hormones and dating become the norm, I felt out of place. Being a geek and socially awkward, I never really fit into the high school scene squarely. However I enjoyed sports despite only being 5’6″ 130 pounds and lacking athletic talent. I had the heart though. I didn’t date, go to parties or join clubs. I did however enjoy working in the library where I have always felt at home.

Academically, I did well, but was in basic level courses. Thus, my options for attending college were greatly limited. I eventually attended Pellissippi State Community College and majored in Video Production Technology. I did well up until the end of 2001 and then it felt like aimleessly drifting from one job to another, failed career attempts, and other endeavors like political activism that were productive in some ways and not so productive in other ways.

As an adult, I have interacted well with people from different walks of life regardless of politics, social status, religion, and other labels that often are used to divide and conquer. My paternal grandfather was a World War II veteran. He served as a heavy truck driver in India and Burma. During his time away from home (1943-1946), he had malaria, lived through a monsoon, encountered a strange world all onto its own. As if facing the Japanese wasn’t bad enough.

After returning home, he gradually moved on with his life. Overall, a happy, productive life. I am sure he had his share of trauma from the war, but he didn’t let him overcome him. One point of contention that he had to reconcile was that growing up in Grainger County, Tennessee, it was of course a more conservative environment. Being exposed to a different culture, he encountered villagers who were either dressed differently or had no clothing on at all. This caused some concern after the war. “Would I burn in hell for seeing another naked woman when I am already married?” Eventually he reconciled this.

I myself being conservative in the Bible Belt and socially withdrawn, I had spent much of my lfe trying to untangle the maze of messages with how women and men interact and how we are portrayed in the world via mass marketing, media, and other forms of communications. I had my share of internal conflicts. I didn’t really reconcile this until I was around 40 years old. As it turns out, the problem wasn’t with me. The problem was the split personality of the culture as a whole.

So as a way to throw this hypocrisy back into the world’s and Devil’s face, I went to Hippie Hollow (a nude lake near Austin, TX) in 2016 on several occassions and let it all go. Afterwards, I thought this wasn’t so bad. When I told several of my friends about it, they were shocked. They didn’t imagine a conservative, quiet guy like me doing that. But I needed it. I needed to get out of my shell and become bolder and more aggressive. I have since then done photography with models, attended dance events and attended a pudding wrestling match for a domestic violence fundraiser. I no longer had any more hangups. I was free.

This personality change actually began in 2011. During the Fall semester while attending Carson Newman College, the Jezebel Spirit attacked me every night from late August to just before Thanksgiving. Aggressive, manipulative and without mercy. I being the conservative, well mannered guy struggled for nearly three months enduring these attacks. I felt cold, in dreadful fright and motionless as Jezebel entered through the window on the second floor. She attacked me over being a good boy, never married, but having the desire in my heart, not being a normal guy like everyone else. She especially tried to make me despise and distrust women. On top of that, I was made to feel worthless, lacking ambition and even suggested to me to either harm myself or commit suicide.

Finally after about 75 straight nights of attacks, I started becoming more aggressive. I started using profanity calling her a slut and asking her if she liked being eaten by dogs. Most of all like Satan, didn’t like the acknowledgement that Jesus Christ had risen from the tomb and walked out on his own two feet. Therefore, sin and death were conquered.

This battle has prepared me well for the future battles to come. If I had to put a team of ten people together today to help fight these battles, they would all be women. No wonder Jezebel tried to drive a wedge between me and women in general.

So thankfully santification has occurred and I am wiser, more experienced and have a much different point of view. I am not driven by worldly gain. I now serve the Lord. I am ready to embark on a cross country trip. In this day of social distancing and mask wearing, I will be boldly going to places to meet friends and liberty minded individuals. I will be doing what I can to help in terms of moral and spirit support as well as providing feedback. Most of all, I aim to strengthen current relationships and start new ones. I no longer get as much satisfaction of being around technology or books as much although still useful. I despire modern day TV and rarely go to movies. Maybe 10 in the past 20 years and I slept through a few of them. They don’t make them like they used to.

Please pray for me both in terms of wisdom and physical health. I will be posting a link soon to donate funds that could help me fund my trip primarily food and gas money. I wish I could have plenty of money. But I never made more than $25,000 in a year and that was twenty years ago. I will leave it it in the hands of the Lord.